Tuesday, July 28, 2009

hi its late july and the hottest week on record im so sweaty .yuk .i want to go where it can be sunny yet cool lord send me there pleeeaaaassseee.let my art be an inspiration to many.it is colorful it is meant to be beautiful and up lifting.i know god gave the gift to create to all of us,i hope to leave a legacyto my grandchildren.my children arent all that into moms art.boys dont gravitate to my style.but bobbys drawings far succeed mine ,i hope he gets the appreciation he deserves.we need anthony or some one trust worthy like him to be our agent .well the truth is i am the only one who can take the steps to make it as an artist professionally.i have no background or schooling so it will be a rough road unless i just get the rich and famous to fall in love with my art oh lord send them my way .or send me their way.thats what warhol said and i believe him.if i acted like i did right before 1980 i would have many people loving and buying my work.i was so full of confidence,i could make friends easily.that was 19 ,now at 50 with all the life i learned ,raising 2 boys.now i am a different woman.i isolated my self thanks to living in a city with not one fun thing to do.it sucks to be poor for the reason we got ripped off from the government.we bought a house that i dont know if it will ever sell.we have never liked it.we got a deal on cheap mortgage but when we paid it all back we now owe what started as a loan for 119,950.00 in 1995 now 2009 we refinanced cuz they said we made to much money 70,000 last year. the first good year ever.so farm home made us pay it back now we owe 179,ooo.o0.1,3oo a month its tough cuz we just had 7 months of lay off.my health is is disaray from bieng fat,both knees are in so much pain it hurts to exersise.i have to get a pool.i have to get a job in the art world i also have to get peace with who i am and feel good about the life i have.living with bi polar has been an ongoing struggle. inside i want to be kind good hearted and giving but i also want so much more than what life is giving me.so as i do more rambling here are some art works to help show im not all that bad